For the handful of you that actually read this blog, you may have realized that I did not post yesterday (I know my man definitely realized - wanted to make sure I knew that there was no post up).
I've been stressing myself out over every little detail. In fact, I stress about all little details with most things in my life. I'm really not one to be open with my feelings, and believe it or not, this blog is the most open I am (even though I don't open up all too often here). I've noticed that there is that commonality among many bloggers these days - shy people who are able to show who they really are through their words and pictures.
Yep, that's me.
Anyway, I have always been an EXTREME person. I'm all or nothing. Although when I am in the "all" moments, it is extremely productive and efficient being that type of person, I'm really starting to notice how unhealthy it is to be that way.
I have constant to do lists, constant thoughts of what needs to get done, ridiculously high expectations of myself, and in return, my own perfectionistic ways leave me feeling less than average.
Needless to say, I often drive myself crazy.
My boyfriend keeps reminding me that this time I have is something that I am probably not always going to have, so I really want to take advantage of it. Sometimes I am so stressed that it easily turns into a "nothing" day, which just leaves me feeling terrible.
So I thought about how Turquoise Lollipops all started and well, it pretty much was the painting of the swimming elephant above. That painting was fun. I wanted to paint a swimming elephant, so I did. I didn't plan it. I didn't obsess over it. I just did it because I felt like it and to my surprise, it sold right away.
So I want to get back to that moment. To enjoy doing my work and not pressuring myself to do it and do the most of it. Quality is so much more important than quantity and I am noticing that with my blog posts too. I don't want to post just because I am "supposed" to.
So I am trying something new (or old). I am trying to ban to do lists for awhile. To post when I feel like posting - when I am completely inspired or completely frustrated or when an artist completely blows me away. To enjoy making work I am proud of and to not post work just because I completed something because I felt like I should. To finally doing an art journal. To more working out. More time to read. More time to play piano and guitar and take longer walks with the dog.
The moment I made the decision to be less structured (I know to some disorganized people this may seem crazy, but I do think it is possible to be
organized) it was like DUH, this is what I should have been doing all along.
So here's an attempt to change my life. Yes, dramatic, but it's the truth. Here's to being more grounded, less extreme, and well producing work I am proud of and happy to share.
Now...I just need to come up with 18 titles for my pieces for my solo show.
Dropping off the pieces tomorrow, but I am actually feeling quite good about them.
Titles won't weight me down ;)
... Laura ...