Sometimes

Sometimes you really just need to take a moment to breathe and be still.  It's much easier said than done, of course, but just do it.  Your mind will thank you and right now mine is doing the exact opposite.  Just breathe. You hear? Happy Friday all.

Just A Girl And Her Studies (35)

The internet can be a strange place.  It can be full of inspiration, full of future opportunities, but also full of unfortunate pasts.  Much of my time as a current, modern-day artist has been dedicated to erasing those unfortunate pasts, embarrassed by my degree of vulnerability at times, embarrassed by my naivety as a cocky young twenty year old, or embarrassed by my lack of talent - why would I have ever created such a thing?

More often than not, I have control over what's out there floating around the internet in regards to myself.  I can delete ultra embarrassing old blog posts.  I can remove old pieces from my website that no longer fit my aesthetics.  But sometimes I have no control.  And yes, it's embarrassing and at times can drive me crazy, but there's beauty in that. 

Put yourself out there.  Be fully you.  If you're embarrassed looking back on it, it means you're growing, BUT it also means you're still striving for perfection. Be careful of that trap and let go.  Just fully let go.  You have to because 1) no on really cares - they're too busy thinking about their own embarrassment and 2) you will never get the end result you want.  I've constantly battled with perfectionist tendencies and the hardships that go along with it (you know all of the mental/physical anguish).  But I've realized it's all a cop out.  Because really it all comes from fear, from being afraid of not being good enough.  And guess what? Fear is not hard work - fear is the easy way out. 

So let's be fearless, let's fully and authentically put ourselves out there, and let's create merrily for the joy of creating.  Who cares what the end result is? I sure don't.

Just A Girl And Her Studies (34)

I remember being in high school and discovering what editing papers did.  I mean sure, it seems obvious, but when I took the time to read over a paper, make corrections, read over it again, make corrections, and read over it one more time, I was amazed that each and every time there was something to be changed.  I was also amazed at the direct effect it had on my grade (yay for editing!).

I'm beginning to learn the same lessons when it comes to my art work.  I tend to feel defeated when I don't love an immediate draft of something, be it a painting, a Sea Study, or a Nature Study, but why should it really be any different than writing a paper.  Why do I have such double standards? With my ongoing studies, I do draft after draft after draft, sometimes changing the entire vibe, sometimes just little tweak after little tweak, but it makes all the difference in the world.  I'm perfecting my craft with each new draft and guess what? The end goal is NOT perfection.  I am actually enjoying the process, each step, each fall, each gain, each loss.  Because that's all that it is - a process, and all you can do is enjoy the ups and the downs and all the tweaks in between.

You know when something comes into your life just as you need it? Well, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post from The Etsy Blog on a day when I very much needed it.  If you live a creative life or want to live a creative life, it's really worth reading.  I promise.  The thing I took away from it the most - #4.  I realized there really is no magic number I need to be making a year to make me feel like an authentic artist.  I mean when you really think about it, how silly is that?

I am an artist.

Why is it so hard to say?

Just A Girl And Her Palette

I used to think I would be good at naming nail polishes, but then again, I think every girl has thought that (you have, haven't you?).  If you ever wonder about who actually names the polishes, I found these short articles interesting (here and here). 

But back to me (because it's always about me, RIGHT) - I don't actually think I'd be very good at coming up with names.  I could maybe come up with one or two clever names, a few practical names, and then...burn out.  I like to buy the cheap, craft acrylic paint in many, many colors.  It's my favorite testing them out and reading and writing the names of each color next to the beautiful blob of paint.  I've come to realize that I'm very good at appreciating the names of these paints (and of nail polishes) that OTHER people of come up with. Sure, it's easy to point out a bad name, but when the names are good - they are GOOD.

I've been struggling naming all my new pieces in my Nature Studies series.   I keep an ongoing notebook of all the words I like, related words, and short phrases that ring true to my pieces, but the final decision - ugh, I dread it.  I'm dying to know, how do you name your pieces? Does a name come immediately upon finishing? Do you just name it to name it and get it done with? Let me know! When I tend to commit too quickly I end up hating/regretting the choice.  So back to my notebook, filled with pages and pages of words that have yet to become a name.

Just A Girl And Her Studies (32)

Obviously we all have our days where it feels like nothing is working out.  For me it feels like I have those days MUCH MORE than the other days, though I am sure that is far from true.  You know what I realized though? It makes those OTHER moments that much better. You know the ones when something works as soon as you touch it and you just have that feeling deep in your gut it's going to be GOOD and you can't help but have a big old smile on your face.

Oh, aren't those moments just the best?

Momentary Bliss (12)

And just like that, I blinked, and it's fall.  The mornings are chilly.  The evenings need a jacket.  But the days, the days are still hot - just the way I like it.  And these past few days have been spent exploring my fall color palette and there's no better thing than combining colors.  Perfect momentary bliss, even if it is fall and I'm not even close to being ready for it. 

Momentary Bliss (11)

Because the sun is rising, the dew is fresh, and just at the very last second, you see this beautiful thing about to high five your face.  And the fact that it doesn't and you can just take a minute to admire it's beauty, well that's momentary bliss.