Just Because

I haven't been posting recently.  And not necessarily on purpose and not necessarily not on purpose.  That makes total sense, right? It's just that I've been thinking a lot about EVERYTHING.  About motherhood.  About my work.  About time.  About sacrifices and about priorities.  The thing is, motherhood changes you.  And maybe that is a completely obvious statement, but for me, it felt sort of monumental when I realized that. 

Before I became a mother, my art and my work consumed me - in the best possible way.  I couldn't imagine ME without my art.  But now, the definition of me has changed because I can't imagine me without this baby.  So it's not necessarily that it doesn't leave time for my work, but more that I want my time to be with her. And it's not mom guilt trying to convince me doing my own thing makes me a bad mom.  It's solely that I want every waking moment with her to be valuable, for both her and me.  Because singing to her and looking her in her eyes feels very different than singing to her while editing pictures to try to get a blog post up by 7 am exactly. 

So what does all this mean? Well it means I'm re-learning who I am and where my priorities stand.  Because right now I want to eat up every second with this baby who is growing faster that I could ever imagine.  Because seeing her take the world in every single day currently makes my heart so full.  And don't get me wrong.  My creativity isn't gone.  And that urge to create is still there, though it may come and go (as it always does).  But since becoming a mother I feel more creative energy than ever before, it just shows itself a little differently than it did before.  So here's to creating when I want to create, posting when I want to post, and to fully live in the moment with my sweet little one. And since exploring this new me, things feel so much more balanced and life feels so much more fulfilling because everything I'm doing I'm doing with intention.  There are no empty gestures here, just purely meaningful moments.  

So on that note, a very happy Monday to you.